Modern Astrology and Zodiac Sign Descriptions
History With New and (Humorous) Description of Sun Signs
Sep 21, 2009
Five thousand years ago, modern astrology was founded in Mesopotamia (present-day Iraq) by the Babylonians (Chaldeans). Originally, no difference between astronomy and astrology existed. Both subjects evolved together, based on observations of the celestial bodies in the sky.
Ancient Scientists
Eventually, Babylonian priests became so accomplished observing heaven they estimated future positions of planets, which predicted weather.
The Babylonian’s preferred observatory hours were near sunset/sunrise, when the light transformed at dusk.
Babylonians introduced astrology to the Greeks, who expanded it (as did Egyptians) and took it to Rome before the Christian era where it was extremely popular. The earliest Greek horoscope dates 61 B.C.E. Astrology also spread throughout Islamic countries, Europe, China, and India.
Astrology Verses the Bible
Although Babylonians were considered wise men in Greece, the Bible mentions dissension between Israelites and Babylonians; because of this (and since Babylonians were famed astrologists) politics may be why astrology is demonized in the Bible. The Bible calls Babylonians star gazers and sorcerers. But indeed, the magi gentiles (“wise men”) who followed the star of Bethlehem to honor the infant Jesus were also astrologists (probably Persians (Iranians).
Astrology Evolves
Modern science discredits astrology yet it once inspired astronomy. Both endure and remain popular, and astrology even gained humor. The following is a more modern description of the twelve astrological signs.
- Aries the Slow Cooker – Most Aries are surprisingly calm and easy-going. The male Aries is romantic and gallant. Their flame burns steady and they’re extremely brave. The female Aries is fierier. Both like excitement and dominate others without meaning to. Idealistic, they wear big hearts on their sleeves (where you can hear them pulsate). The Aries can be found working on disaster crews, rescue teams, or in fire stations.
- Taurus the Extrovert –Both sexes are gorgeous and spoiled. Females love beautiful things (often approaching materialism and vanity). Taurus males are similar, but can live surprisingly austere. Both enjoy spending other people's money. Taurus females expect a lot from a man, although she’s independent and perfectly able to care for herself. Taurus is easy to spot; watch for the individual who stands out at trendy social affairs.
- Gemini the Genius – Smooth conversationalists, Gemini gets along with almost everyone (but please, no small talk). Underneath, they’re really nervous wrecks. They never stop thinking or analyzing, which leads to anxiety or obsessing. They have so many interests no one can keep up. Females sometimes live clandestinely; males are bachelors (or should be) and both like mental games. This sign can often be found in the book store.
- Cancer the Cry Baby – For the Cancer, males can have horrendous tempers, females typically are more mild tempered. Both genders are defensive, especially males, some pathologically. Females are very seductive, but not by design; she’s projecting her vulnerable soul. Over-emotional and poetic loners, Cancers tend to be low-energy with poor immune systems. Some are downright indulgent or lazy. If the face is soft, moon-like and dreamy or sleepy looking, she’s definitely Cancer.
- Leo is Outgoing and Personable – Highly personable and conversational, don’t confuse with equally open Aries. They shine like the sun, unless ignored, which they hate. Males can be needy; some females can be, too. If they like you, they’ll shower you with rays of attention and expect it reflected back. Faithful and refined, Leo craves loyalty yet tolerates a lot in love. Leos find and chose whom they please.
- Virgo the Honest Abe – Some Virgos lie, but this is more the exception than the rule. Virgos can hurt people by their candor. Critical of the self or others (or, perhaps the whole world), they’re nevertheless humanitarians. Males are philosophical, inadvertently coming off as romantic. Virgos are caring people and make wonderful friends. Females are realistic and earthy; males seem elusive.
- Libra Has Pure Charm – Often confused with the Taurus, Libra females ooze femininity. She attracts, but is challenged finding an ideal partner. She’s wishy-washy and needy, a chameleon with sex appeal. Libra males are slippery and hard to hold in an emotional sense (even when they appear emotional). Both sexes are highly affectionate and sensuous, the world’s lovers. It's not uncommon to find the Libra socializing.
- Scorpio's Dark Shadow – Male Scorpios differ noticeably from female Scorpios. Females are jealous, sometimes vindictive; males are generally not. The female Scorpiohas a sharper sting, whereas males are more laid back. Both are deep in an emotional sense. Passion is their sport and not just for sex. You’ll recognize the hypnotic eyes – no one on earth has such powerful eyes, except perhaps a border collie.
- Sagittarius the Happy Traveler – The Sagittarius will tread across continents and hearts with the innocent charm of a child. Self-absorbed and immature, they’re highly adventuresome and philosophical. Females are sporty and very similar to males. Sagittarians get mad (or hurt) easily, and but rarely hold grudges. Some have scathing tongues. These people are in love with life, and dangerously flirtatious. Intellectual, yet amusing; find while traveling.
- Capricorn the Born Stalker – This astrological sign has many traits that are often attributed to Cancer. Capricorns never let go – ever – even if their beloved begs. Male Capricorns are quite dominant and overprotective, while female Capricorns come across a bit odd (for no particular reason). A needy sign, both know depression. Capricorn is most faithful of all signs.
- Aquarius the Mad Entertainer – For Aquarius, there is never a dull moment except for those who don’t like to be surprised, shocked, or embarrassed. Full of immature wonder, the Aquarius can easily forget the feelings of others. Aquarians are intelligent, philosophical and friendly. They can serve as a fun ticket to nowhere. The male Aquarius is a fearless player (except with his own feelings), while the female Aquarius will display a bit more emotion. Both genders are humanitarians. You'll find the Aquarius absolutely anywhere and everywhere – they’re open-minded.
- Pisces the Chatterbox – The Zodiac’s mouth, you don’t have to listen to Pisces' ceaseless chatter, as they won’t even notice. Females are shy children, but they typically become dominant, strong adults. The male Pisces is much weaker, often dreaming their lives away. Both genders of the Pisces have sarcastic tongues and strong dislikes. There’s no better cook than a Pisces female. The Pisces can be found wherever there’s good music or entertainment.
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